People !!

>> The best way to say bye bye

>> the best way to say uuuuuuuuu

>> the best way to say "bow"

>> the best way to woo " u know who " :)

There is only one key that can open one lock wat will two locks do together? they will remain locked forever in misery :) uhahahahaaaaaaaaahaa

That was the answer i got when i asked " someone" if "she" was straight !!

On popular demand... ice the cube

Have you ever traveled in a local bus and wondered what the other passengers are contemplating?

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction and this post is in retort to this post > http://mythsramblings.blogspot.com/2007/05/incomplete-attempt.html Read that first and then take a peek at this post. I have tried to visualize the thoughts of the various characters that Myths has used in her story. If I have knowingly or unknowingly assassinated the character, I humbly ask you to BITE ME !!

The clock on the wall: This is no ordinary clock; this was put together by the world famous Bristol clockmaker, whose name I can’t seem to recall. It was gifted by the Queen Elizabeth to The Maharaja of Jodhpur, and he in-turn gave it to his man-servant, who later became the station master of this particular Railway Station. Read on and behold the working parts of the clock..( cough cough)

Am I the only non living thing in this station with feelings ? Can’t they see that the pretty damsel in blue is upset over the 5.30am Steam Engine not being on time. 32. Yes that’s the number of times she’s looked at me. I just wish Ramu would use a nice soft cloth to wipe the dust and dirt of my face and add oil to my springs. Oh my maker ( Jamie Lee Curtis, from the 9th Charles Street) why didn’t you make me into a wrist watch. Alas! to be tied forever to that lady’s wrist. Hah 33 . Lets play with her mind.I’ll hold my hands for a few minutes. ( CLOCK STOPS TICKING) silence ( Clock comes back to life ,tick tock tick tock) Ufff that was close , but it was worth the startled look she had on her face.Her eyes wow they have some strange power. I wonder whom she’s waiting for, I bet its her husband, but in my experience married people are never so eager, unless…(ponders). 48. Here comes the Dakota Steam Train as usual 20 minutes late. Hey wait, she is running towards that bloke. They make a nice couple, but there is something sinister about that unshaven bloke. Haven’t I seen him before. I have a thing for people looking up at me and I never forget the face. I know I have seen him before. Was it in this station, while he was waiting for train.That stubble reminds me of ……Clock Springs in a Scarp yard !! I just remembered where I saw him. It was not at this station but it was at the Central Jail, Madavpur Pathankote. He was the one who ……….

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Another version of the above paragraph : 48. Here comes the Dakota Steam Train as usual 20 minutes late. Hey wait, she is running towards that bloke.They make a cute couple. But something is odd about them.( A clock having dejavu ). I have a thing for people and I never forget that face looking up longingly at me, hoping that I run like the wind. I know I have seen him somewhere before. Was it in this station, while he was waiting for a train. Is it that stubble ….. Clock Springs in a Scarp yard !! I just remembered.. its not the stubble or the bloke. It’s the body language of the couple, “She stretched out her hand and touched his face. She let her palm linger over his cheek, she felt the slight stubble”. It’s her.. the blood thirsty vampire of Basil.Why didn’t I recognize her from her eyes, those damned green eyes. Ramu!! why didn’t you clean me using SURF excel, …aaaaaaargh.

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The Coffee Shop Owner : Mahesh Madhavan (He’s dreaming of Ileana when he is suddenly woken by an angelic voice asking for a cup of Bru coffee.) “What time is it ? (rubbing his eyes) damn! It’s 5 am and what is this dame doing at this early hour.The only train that passes by is the Dakota Steam Train.And it’s not a passenger train but a mail train. Wonder whom she’s waiting for or for what,maybe a parcel from her boy-friend. (snigger).” He serves her the coffee and his eye catches the ruby on her index finger.

“ That must be worth a lot of money. If I had that I could buy Parimal’s coffee shop.” He keeps staring at the girl in blue and is distracted by a mongrel licking his hand.” Hey Bruno, stop that. Here ( gives Rs20) go fetch 2 liters of milk from Prakash and don’t forget to bring the change. If he refuses, you can bite him”. His eyes go back to the bench and at the girl. “She’s definitely in distress. I have never seen her before in this station, maybe I should…”. He walks up to the girl and “ Madam”. She is startled from her reverie and looks up. “ Madam, the cup”. She sighs and gives him the steel tumbler not even bothering to thank him. “ Maybe I should….” He shakes his head and not finding the courage to ask her the “question”. He goes back to his shop, muttering under his breath to find Bruno waiting for him with 2 liters of Amul Pasteurized milk. He yawns and looks up at the rising sun.His eyes go back to the damsel in blue. “Sigh* , if only I could….”. The train arrives but the only people running to greet it are the lady in high heels and the mongrel. Mahesh leans back and looks at the spectacle unfolding before his eyes. The tall bloke in the white shirt and blue jeans is running towards the lady in blue. “ Is she crying ?, Must be her husband. Ewww I just hope they are not going to hug each other, right here on the platform”. Maddu as he’s called by his peers suddenly sits upright. He pulls out his Nokia N-95 and sends an instant message “ Bird in trap, Egg in Basket, Chicken for dinner”. Suddenly the station comes alive, Men in Black drop down from the rooftops , with shouts of, “Freeeze” ,“Get him” “ Don’t tackle him alone” , Watch out,“ the !@#$@# “ and it ended as it had started, abruptly. They caught the brigand red-handed. The mongrel also known as Bruno was trussed like a turkey. It was the notorious jewel thief Bruno, the dog who was as slippery as an eel that Maddu was assigned to watch and capture “doing it”. In all the commotion, he noticed that the couple were….

Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions.

They seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if they had surprised a butterfly in the winter woods. ~Edith Wharton

My life is back to normal ..no more late nights L no more Hotel ka Khaana. Oh! the other day ,my BIL and yours truly were at the airport to receive my parents. We waited and waited and we being young were distracted by the “other” passengers ,excluding the air-hostessessssss and that lil kid. Damn I should go more often to the airport..it’s so funny, people running screaming swearing hugging falling down ..doing everything under the tubelight and all this in front of 63 cab drivers. And there I was, waiting patiently…I get a call from Mom ..they went right in front of us and they thought I was a cab driver..cough cough..we sort of…were engaged in “other activities”. She comes home and looks around, and finds the house NEAT ( beams). 2 hours later, I was thinking of sending them back to US of A… My parents were suffering from jet lag and so were running around the house like kids, unpacking , cleaning, shouting aaaaaaaargh. The next day she calls up all our relatives and tells them that the house is a MESS ( grrr) 3 inches of dirt. Ofcourse that was because of the bore-well that the apartment folks were digging. Not my fault, is it ? She’s got lots of choki’s for me..but no liquor chokis L and a box of dry fruits. I munch and dance to the tune of Nelly Furtado’s latest song “Promiscuous”..when I see a MADE IN INDIA sticker……..UUhahhahahhaha she went 2000+ kms to get a box of dry fruits which were most probably exported from Mangalore..uahahhahaha. Cough cough …after that episode, she doesn’t let me anywhere near the dry fruits.. ..me and my big mouth. Oh the latest about the kid Sid. He loves to take bath and especially loves the mirror ( kids !!) .My mom calls out “ Siddu time for your bath” and I think she rings a bell or something..and he crawls from under ( god knows what ) and heads to the bathroom,giving her a loos grin. He loves to watch television, especially the local Kannada News. It has this boootiful news reader and it seems he just stares at her. The logic or do I say the baby logic here is that the kid thinks that she is talking to him and only him !! undivided attention ;) This kid knows his curves, he goes goo goo gaa gaa over Ash’s song from Guru..megha re… The list goes on …

Nobody says you must laugh, but a sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile.

It came out of the blue…we are off to a movie .”Which is the latest film that’s being released..A squeaky voice ( yours truly) Spiderman 3…ok book 200 tickets…

And then after making all the arrangements , we found that we had 30 extra tickets…so the Director calls me and says…”go on sell it..” Me : eh ? you mean back to the guy at the counter? He: Yeah ,no I meant in black…. Me: gulp …

So if you were anywhere near Innovative multiplex today at 1.30pm, you could have caught me in a T-shirt,(which had 9 different facial expressions of Calvin, I like the smoochie one) , selling tickets for the 1.45pm, SCREEN2, Spidy show. Yep I was the one who was shouting “Tickets for Spidy! Come and get it …”

Well actually I was just standing , giving my loos grin,shuffling my feet, when my Director said “You are not a good salesman, they won’t come to you.. you have to go to them “…GRRRR.. so I showed him…I sold 17 of them Hah!! And it would have helped if the HR had not goofed up and given me tickets ranging which had isolated seats like J1 , H9 , L11 and M3 duh !! and I sold H8 and M2 tickets to a couple and they were like ..” we would like to sit together “ and I convinced them that they could sit together since we had 200 #@*$ tickets…Wizards First Rule “People are fools” well I proved it…sigh* But if things are going too smoothly, you are bound to eat frogs legs for breakfast.

All sold, I run into the theatre and then tring tring,a colleague calls to say he is standing outside and doesn’t have a ticket….grrrrr and I sold off the last ticket to that girl with freckles ( no Dee she had more freckles than you)… I rush outside and this sweet little thing comes up and says “ do you have an extra ticket “ and I explode..I had 200 Q@#$@#$ tickets and …..and she gives me a smile and runs off. No I don’t have a ticket..so me being devious and cunning.. I had 3 counter foils.. Remember I went in and came out..so I give him 1 and run in ..just in time to watch Toby pea soup … :) ( if you know me , you know the joke)…

Now I am all cosy and watching the movie..when ( cough cough) mommy dearest calls up…..” Hey we are in Kaulalampur “ Me : oho… Mom : What are you doing ? Me : watching a movie ( crowd gasps as Spidy falls ) Mom: What time is it ? Me : 3 pm Mom : Are you coming to pick us up ? Me: Noooooooooooooooo ( comeon its an inbred reaction ….that guy was about to hit Spidy) Mom : WHAT !! Me: Oops mom will be there…at 12ish..dont worry. Mom: Is the house still habitable ? Me: haha nice joke .. Mom : Bye…..

So back to the action ….and as you guys know that it was dark and I sat next to GOD knows who ..and I hear them whisper..”Hey he looks like Vc….”

Me : He looks like WHO ? Dude1 next to me : Vc ? Me: Yep its me and I look like who ? Dude 2: Toby da bugger !! Me : Really ?

Nope I SO DO NOT LOOK LIKE TOBY .. I mean he has weird ears…eeeeeeeew. Grr now they call me Peter Parker…..

Oh by the way Spidy 3 is watchable.. I mean you

get to see Spidy do some amazing stunts..and you see him cry…dance..yep awesome pelvic thrusts..the girls in the front row were whistling….eeew.. and you can see spidy in a new outfit .. Mary Jane has a side role… but overall watch it :)

"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then." - Katharine Hepburn

An anthology of random thoughts.. . After 6 months of harmony ( parents on a long visit to meet and play with the kid, grandson)..and being a normal uncommitted and free dude, I have to get back to my old habits of watching " kyun ki.." soaps and eating radish sambhar…....naaaaaahi....Gulp !... What have I been doing all these months ? What will my mom find when she comes home this Saturday , apart from the leftovers from the covert wild African Baganda tribe "party" wink wink.Have to send the lioness back home .. Well, firstly she will find that my little collection of Dvd's has increased disturbingly. I now have around 300+ awesome titles.. In addition, some 40 odd books are lying all around my room. Any takers ?? She will find that I still don't know which container contains "rice ".I think its in one of the big steel dabbas..i hope...and thankfully the floors are spotless :) and smell of Niligiris ..I found this new floor cleaner and they make the floors sparkle , just like new. .and …ok ok ..I sound like a salesman. I have not "as promised" tampered with the pooja room, Pooja haiiiii..( cough cough). I will not have to worry about little things like.. did I lock the main door ( yep it’s a little thing) , did I switch off the radio ( on one occasion , it was running for 52 hours,non-stop …).Did I pay the bills ? Did I do this. Did I do that. ….uff Hold on chaakar aa raaha hai.. Things that I have learnt: 1. Monkeys are human too , even they have cravings for ice-cream and tender coconuts, not to mention my cream biscuits and banana chips. 2. An eligible bachelor is like a magnet to these “aunties” grrr… 3. You can keep the refrigerator door open for 8 hours but you cannot transform the floor into a skate rink . 4. Never eat at the same hotel for 3 continuous days… 5. You can skip dinner almost everyday… 6. Always have “Sprite “, oranges and potato chips at your disposal (of-course it’s for the monkeys). 7. You can watch 4 movies at a stretch. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I was looking at this website and was “trying”, in vain ,to fill up a form and was stuck with one of the questions : Complexion : very fair, Fair, Wheatish, Wheatish medium, Wheatish brown and dark What the @#$@#$ is wheatish ??and wheatish brown ?? medium ?aaaaaaaaaaaaargh And under Lifestyle you have Diet : Veg ,eggetarian, Occasionally Non-Veg, Non Veg, Jain, Vegan Ocassionally Non veg ?? What type of category is that ?? Personality ….i didn’t know what to say or rather write ..I said something weird ..and then the next hurdle was Family background. ..eh ? ….. I looked over a few profiles and was aghast . These prospective brides knew exactly what they wanted, down to the “grooms” fingernails ( 0.125 cms only). Thank God I cut my nails yesterday. It was a weird experience , and it left me in a daze. On top of that as I am a typical indecisive Libran , I didn’t want to make that plunge into the deep abyss called marriage.. Can’t I have a live-in relationship with Jennifer Lopez or Preethi Zinta ? I realize that I am not as serious as I should be , maybe I’m just that free falcon, flying around the hilltops …….and I think I abhor the word prospective partner GRR……… ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I am acquainted with a lil girl who is a 3rd year Medical Student and whom I have nicknamed Lanfear ;) . The other day she had a small accident. Here’s my version of what happened… It’s 6am and she was riding her scooty to GOD knows where and quite obviously staring at the poster of ERAGON and no doubt dreaming about flying around the dragon. It seems she was suddenly blinded by a SUMO and some dude on a bike who was doing 10kmph ( 1 km more than her) suddenly materialized in front of her( in the wrong side) and she banged into him. Her pink colored scooty ,went for a toss or in other words skidded 5 meters and stopped on the other side of the road. By now, a small crowd had gathered. Here’s where it gets interesting.She parks her vehicle and runs to this dude, flashing her ID Card and shouting ..”I am a doctor I am a doctor “and ofcourse everyone makes way ,but keep pointing at her knees. She asked, no wait..wannabe doctors don’t ask they “enquire”.So she enquired if he was alright and then gave him a nice chatpatta tongue lashing…incidentally she was not wearing her helmet. Thank God the dude was middle aged and not some hunk or else she would have wanted to test out, last week’s mouth-to-mouth respiration techniques. Eeeeeeeew ;)