There may be dust in my house but there isn't any on me.:)

Yipeeeeeeeeee its nice to be back writing insane and mundane stuff. So for all you aunties out there, here’s the latest gossip. I might eventually tie the knot (some cultures don’t believe in tying the knot, its more of “I do” and Kabul hain, with the nod of the head ).

Well I did go to Mangy for a couple of days, last weekend and the road trip was horrible, especially when you are seated in the not_ so_cosy ,last row ,seat 40 and your neighbor a young college kid, who sends sms’s faster than you can blink, is sleeping like a baby.

Well the first day, Saturday, just did not seem to end ..grrr.. I did visit a couple of cool temples and even went bride hunting .Turns out that the “girl” was hardly 20 (chants of “child marriage” in the background). I really wanted to go watch the Sunset at the beach, but alas, it was another temple for me.

I did manage to watch 1 full length Hindi film titled, well let’s forget the title for now and read “Indian History” written by a Chinese author, Hah!!. I even met that Doctor aunty (areh the same one who wanted me to marry her brother’s daughter, who were staying in Mumbai, yep the same one).

The next day it was another temple and loads of relatives, and nodding the head and saying…aaah how are you (when actually I meant WHO are you?). Another of those “fall at the priests feet” and he’ll bless you with a boootiful and smart wife “yeah rite !! Who is next?

I did manage to sneak out to the beach, at 12 noon, with a little cousin of mine, and we even saw whales, that was really worth the trip. My lil cousin even knew why the sea was blue in color, but was stumped when I asked him what causes waves ;) Yep I gave him a lecture on how waves move up and down and not horizontally and the wind and went on to talk about tidal waves and of course the MOON and wolves..bowwwwwwwwwwwww. He wants to become a software engineer !! Nope don’t look at me !!

Sunday evening was dedicated to a Hindu wedding in a church hall with the muhuratham set at 6pm, che if only the bride and groom were Muslims :).So many pretty ladies and I twisted my neck. The conversation with my mom was ….well it went something like this .. we are in the 15^th row …

Mom : Do you want full stylish girls ?

Me : ( 1 eyebrow touching the ceiling ) Like who ?

Mom : Like that girl , dark brown sari,…

Me : Mom, she looks like a bear ( my apologies to the bear)

Mom: umm..what about that girl , she looks pretty.

Me : Where where ?

Mom : Next to Parvathi Aunty.

Me : Naah not my type.

Mom loses interest and turns to the other side to catch up on the gossip. I am left to count my Tulsi beads and then I zoom in on one cooool WOW angel and was about to point her out to my mom, when her son came running threw the doors. Well I was just a bit late, 4 years too late.

The groom’s parents came over and thanked us for coming, (we were treated like VIP’s since we come from a far far off place called Bangalore, DUH!!! We eat the same rice and drink the same coffee) and Uncleji, says,”You pick and let me know, I’ll take care of the rest”.It took me a couple of minutes to realize that he wanted me to …….ahem ahem.

Then came the gang of girls, who sat right behind me, ( yep it was just my lucky day), and I couldn’t turn around and stare could I ? Nope not gentlemen like so I had to listen to their conversation.

She1 : Ahh the bride looks so pretty

She2: Look its Srikanth

She3 : Where ? Ummm he got married last year, his wife is pretty.

She1: Look at Kanthi’s saree, and her jewelry and is she with her Mother-in-law.

She2: I like the border of her saree…

Here I was reminded of all the Hindi soaps and had to make my way out of the hall and no I didn’t look at them ;)

Well I took a stroll and yep found myself in the church ;) No nothing happened and I was whisked back into the hall. Here I met another aunty who spoke in fluent English and it went something like this ;

Aunty: I have selected 2 girls for you.

Me: Oh really (trying to look shocked, which comes out like a smirk)

Aunty: That one over there, in the pink dress, well she has almost completed her BE and has been offered a job in TCS.

Me: Oh!! (Trying to get a glimpse of her)

Aunty: And then that girl in the blue sari, well she’s my cousin Sujatha’s, Sister in law’s, 3^rd Cousin ,Ramesh’s…………………..daughter.

Me : eh ? She’s what?

Aunty: She’s completed her degree and is pursuing some course….

Me: So how old is she ?

Aunty : I think 22

Me : 22 !!! you must be kidding

Aunty: Why you want someone younger than her? (looking stunned)

Me: (smile) ( if you have seen me give my natural smile, well that’s the one )

Aunty: Yeah why not marry my daughter she’s 15 ?

Me : LOL

Thankfully I was whisked off by one of my Uncles. I decided to eat something, yep all alone, and there I was eating veg palav when my mom and her bro come running.

Uncle : How tall are you ?

Me : eh ?

Mom : How tall are you ?

Me: I’m 5 11 almost 6 ft , If I stretch like this.

Mom and Uncle exchange glances and look towards the crowd.

Mom: But she says she’s 5 8 but she looks taller than you!!

Me: Who who ?

Uncle : See that girl in the pink dress, the one who is standing with her mom. I know here Brother in law, we studied in the same college.

Me: Wow she’s tall !! Is she wearing heels ?

Uncle: Well it seems she’s completed her B Com. So ?

Me: So ??

Mom: You want us to proceed further? Or do you think she’s too tall for you ?

Me : eh ? She’s tall and pretty.

Mom and Uncle lose interest in me and jump back into the crowd. I glance back at the girl, all this time she was actually looking at me and here I was making monkey faces.

I run around in search of “ice cream” and bump into another umm umm girl, I say “excuse me” , she smiles and runs off, and all I wanted was the spoon.

The night didn’t end here, I then caught a 9pm bus back to Bangalore (yep the last seat again) and this time 2 lil girls were yapping all night.The first one was a shy thing,and the other a moti chips eating north Indian girl.

Shy one: aaah this was the best trip yaar. Tommorow its office again

Moti : Yeah I know , I hate office.

Moti: Its my sister’s birthday, let me call and wish her.

Sandhya, kya kar raahi ho !! Happy birthday , ( silence )

Kab

Kaise

Why didn’t you tell me ?

And she starts Crying!! I was really taken aback, of course it was not my fault. Later the story unfolded that a relative, some 35year old dude, who she kept calling young, had expired. Poor thing.

An hour later, she was snoring and the shy girl and your’s truly were …well jumping in our seats and cursing the bad roads and the driver.

By the way coming soon….another bike another story ..yep new bike…vroooooooooooooooooom oops its 50 KMPH slow down slow down …