LOL

* Boy Scouts from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce, the boys had to hide under their blankets to avoid being bitten. One of them saw some lightning bugs and said to his friend, We might as well give up. They are coming after us with flashlights.

* A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet and serene. And then a new sound was heard: It was the little one singing, in a loud, clear voice, "Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you. . . ."

* One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read. ...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house? The teacher paused, then asked the class, And what do you think the man said? One little boy raised his hand and said excitedly, I know! I know! He said, Holy Shit! A talking pig!