Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ~Simone Signoret

The Iyer wedding through my eyes...., you can find all the customs here Kashi Yatra: The groom embarks on a mock pilgrimage. Dressed in the traditional 'panchakatcham', holding an umbrella, a fan, a walking stick, and a towel containing 'dal' (lentils) and rice tied to his shoulder, the groom embarks on a mock pilgrimage. As he steps out of the 'mandapam', the bride's father pleads with him not to go to 'Kashi' (a sacred pilgrimage site in the city of Benaras) and marry his daughter instead. After much ado the groom accepts and returns to the 'mandappam' to get married! Run Anand Run this is your last chance.. but no!! he just stood there smiling..thu thu .. Unjal Unjal:The couple exchange garlands On entering the 'mandapam' the groom discards his walking stick and all the other paraphernalia and is garlanded by the bride. The groom in turn garlands the bride. This was the fun part .. Scene 1 : Bride smiles garlands the groom, groom inturn garlands the bride. Scene 2: Bride smiles and tries to garland the running away groom.Relatives catch the dude before he escapes. Scene 3.Groom tries to garland the bride but the bride is being lifted up up and now the groom is flying and Voila..he makes it.. applause... I was too stunned to shoot pics.Hello it was like watching a chinku movie, ppl flying around... my apologies… The couple is then made to sit on a decorated swing and the women folk smear their feet with a little milk, 'kumkum' and 'chandan' (sandalwood paste). A pot of water and a lamp set inside a measure containing rice are carried by the bride's mother and other elderly ladies around the swing and the couple is fed a mixture of bananas, milk and sugar. From what little I could gather both the groom and bride were fasting and they just gobbled up the mixture of bananas and milk. But the best part was when all the aunties “mammies” as the photographer kept calling queued up to feed the couple.They were literally fighting. The groom’s father was a bit worried and he kept looking at his watch ;-) .Then the drama reached its pinnacle when one “mamma “ took out 4 sheets of lyrics and went on to sing “ Happy wedding day to you “(This will soon be released in your local Audio stores). He went on and on and his voice reminded me of Himmesh ( Please note that I am a fan of Himmi..junoooooooooon junooooooooon ). Mamma then ended with a couple of tamil slokas and we all clapped. Then the maami's threw color color rice ladoos .. After the traditional 'aarthi' the bride and groom are escorted for the next ceremony -the 'kanyadhan'. The cone shaped 'parupputhengai' (a special sweetmeat) is an important part of all these ceremonies. According to Divster:" its part of the 'seeru'.Seeru means.. what u offer to the boy's side paruppu= daal, thenga=coconut so like. each one of them contains.. sweets like laddu, cashew sweet, jaggery ka sweet, knoharam(another sweet), and so on…. and i thought the couple were supposed to wear them.. I swear.. i was even ready to click a few snaps..che.. Kanyadhan:Giving away the bride Amidst the chanting of 'mantras' (Vedic chants), the 'pujari' ignites the sacred fire. The groom is gifted a 'muhurtha veshti' (a 4 metre long silk dhoti) and a 'pattu' (a 2 metre long silk fabric to be used as a stole). The bride is seated on her father's lap for the 'kanyadhan'. The bride and groom together hold a coconut dipped in turmeric, while the bride's mother pours water onto the coconut. This is the actual ritual of 'kanyadhan'. I was a bit distracted when they were giving away the bride…. Mangalyadharanam: The groom ties the sacred 'taali' on the bride The 'kanyadhan' is followed by the 'mangalyadharanam'. The 'taali' or 'mangalsutra' is placed on the bride's head along with a miniature piece of jewellery shaped like a yoke Mangalyadharanam and the groom performs a 'puja' with 'kumkum' and flowers. He then ties the first knot of the 'taali' around the bride's neck and his sister ties the other two. As usual I was a bit distracted …..and I missed this part… Sapthapathi : Seven steps around the sacred fire The bride's sari 'pallav' and the groom's 'angavastram' (shawl) are tied in a knot and the couple hold hands. The groom places his foot under the bride's and helps her to take the seven steps around the fire. Then he places the bride's foot on a grinding stone near the fire and slips silver rings or 'metti' on her toes. Yep I saw this …Oh..so its seven steps…but I thought it was 7 rounds ?? No ? The couple is then shown the 'Dhruva Nakshatra' or Pole Star, a symbol of permanence and the 'Arundhati Nakshatra' or symbol of purity and virtue. Missed this … Laja Homam: The bride makes an offering to the sacred fire The bride's brother slings a bagful of puffed rice or 'laja' over his shoulder and keeps giving fistfuls of it to his sister to offer as a sacrifice to the sacred fire. After this ritual the couple circulate and are blessed by all present. Missed this again .. I was looking elsewhere..