Rita Rudner's Facts About Men

Stuff that made me roll on the floor....yep i dropped my pencil. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates it can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him. Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally. ( so true ...sigh*) Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?" Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: "Mitch, you look great." Mitch: "Thanks." On the other side: "Ruth, you look great." Ruth: "I do? Must be the lighting." Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit. ( Vc runs off to buy Bach's ~St Matthew Passion).