Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. ...

Was reading this interesting article on sledging Verbal Remedies The writer makes a fair point :"We’ve evolved sledging into “mental disintegration” because the point is to mess with their minds, right? and do check out Sunil Gavaskar's Colin Cowdrey spirit of Cricket speech . Did you know :Yesterday when someone asked me what the word "Swaha", used in almost all of our prayers represented- I gleefully replied that it means " we offer ". ( Google says :Swaha" means "to offer up to higher realms").But later I read that Swaha was Agni's wife, Offerings to Agni are made in the name of his wife, to "cool him" ... hmmm....

What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered.

Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to ..................... Events in our lives happen in a sequence in time, but in their significance to ourselves they find their own order the continuous thread of revelation. ~Eudora Welty A lot of friends moving on.. I don't want a lot for Christmas There's just one thing I need I don't care about presents Underneath the Christmas tree I just want you for my own More than you could ever know Make my wish come true... All I want for Christmas Is you... Mariah Carey ..

Its like that

Download Mariah's latest hit.. Its like that Right click and have fun. This is one HOT Track.

Jennnnnnnnnnnnnny

I saw this film on Saturday.. No comments on the film.. its Jenny all the way.How come i always watch Jenny's films ..hmm.... Oh hey I finished the "French Kiss" atlast..it had lots of violence..I had nightmares.. uff...

Touch me and that hand will never touch anything again.

Walks. The body advances, while the mind flutters around it like a bird. ~Jules Renard

I wanted to write about Sports commentators like Vijay Amritraj , Dr. Narottam Puri, Henry Blofeld .. but that will have to wait. I read this article on Bangalore torpedo about a certain Mr Arun Pai who organizes walks through MG Road." A stroll through British Bangalore " that's what its called. It's a 90 min , 3km walk , with Breakfast included. But the cost is just too high Rs 700 !! . I think its mainly aimed at Foreign tourists who want to know what Bangalore is all about. Heard this on Radio : Should film/sports personalities represent India ? A smart reply : Just as MG road does not represent Bangalore , film/sports personalities do not represent India. And for the love of GOD,I am not sending anyone Platinum rings, so please stop writing to me ...

Batman Begins review :A guy who dresses up like a bat clearly has issues.

Thanks to Sajjan who presented me with this DVD (Vc beams) and thanks to http://www.allmoviephoto.com/for the pics published in this post. Prequels are a rage ... First it was Star Wars and then it was hmmm ...( can't remember right now ) Batman ? I would love to see the prequel of " The Matrix " and " The Lord of the Rings "(The Hobbit). The first half of the film shows, logically and realistically, how the man known as Bruce Wayne came to assume a double life as a wealthy playboy and his alter ego, the dark avenger of the night. And what's all this fuss with Katie Holmes ? She's not even hmm hmm... duh!! The car chase ( Vc shakes his head ) was something like an episode of COPS -- except, of course, for the Batmobile's ability to leap from roof to roof and the ahem... " Stealth Mode ".You get to see how the Batcave is developed, where the suit and utility belt come from, and the secret of the Batmobile . The line to watch out is when Katie asks Batman " Who are you ?" His answer "It’s not who you are underneath,it’s what you do that defines you". and this one : Bruce Wayne: They told me there was nothing out there, nothing to fear. But the night my parents were murdered I caught a glimpse of something. I've looked for it ever since. I went around the world, searched in all the shadows. And there is something out there in the darkness, something terrifying, something that will not stop until it gets revenge. Me. Funny Scene : When Alfred and Bruce are talking about the Bat ears .. they are supposed to be shipped from China.. they order 10000 bat ears so as not to arouse suspicions. ( Comeon I found it funny !!! ) Overall the action scenes are too fast and you can't make out who's bashing who.Its too dark and I had to keep increasing the brightness * sigh *and they always talked in whispers. Wait a min .. what about the background score ... did it have one .... I must have missed it.. Vc's verdict.....watch if and only if you get free tickets and popcorn. PS: If Batman's car is called the Batmobile.. what his mobile phone called ?

Song of the day .

This is Sonu at his best.. amazing song from the film Peheli. Dheere Jalna Dheere Jalna dheere dheere dheere dheere dheere jalna zindagi ki lau pe jalna kaanch ka sapna, gal hi na jaye soch samajh ke , aanch rakhna Bunty Aur Babli Kajra re : sung by Alisha Chinai .. but it has Ash doing an item number with AB junior and Senior.. Man this is one rocking qawwali . check http://www1.yashrajfilms.com/babmicro/index.asp ho kajra re kajra re tere kare kare naina - ho mere naina mere naina mere naina judwa mere naina kajra re kajra re tere kare kare naina Do check the Tandem story ... its going places :)

My Book

5 years from now,when I sit down to write my novel ( ok I'll give you 2 minutes to laugh ) ... .... grr. grrr Vc swears in his mother tongue.... sorry lost my train of thought.. Here's what I'll do .. ..

Chapter 1: start of with a dark stormy night..Castle.... explain a lot of stuff about who is inside.. Russian actress.. Mafia... and in the last line of the chapter.. you'll find the hero on the branch of the mango tree .. waiting for the watch dogs to fall asleep. ( Its raining so they can't smell him ...and ofcourse he sprayed himself with anti-Dog deodorant duh!! ).

Chapter 2 : Everything you wanted to know about the hero...and then I take you back to the castle , night.. rain .. Boooom .. he's struck by lightning and falls down, to be torn apart by the dobermans... ( uahahhahaha The reader would then jump out of his chair and exclaim : " what the ..... ")

Chapter 3: No No .. go read the book ..

Tandem Writing...

It was a beautiful day to get married .White clouds, blue sky , a beautiful bride in pink, what more could Micheal want.He was excited at the prospect of starting his life afresh in the Nakhichevan Autonomic Republic province of Azerbaijan. Earlier that week,he had been appointed as Chief Engineer for a leading Oil Company aptly named Black Gold.His bride Julia and his 2 year old Irish Wolf hound, Bruno, were looking forward to the overseas trip. But little did they know that they would be....

What do i say .. eh,,aaah,,, just click on it...

As kids see it : Reader's Digest :

Last year, my nine-year-old daughter flew first class to Los Angeles, won second prize in a national dance competition, spent the Fourth of July on the Queen Mary, swam in the Pacific Ocean, toured Hollywood and enjoyed all the rides at Universal Studios. Then, at the beginning of the school year, when her teacher asked her to draw her favourite summer memory, Robin drew a picture of herself on our backyard swing, eating a chocolate bar. --Sandra Blake, Hampton, Ont. (from As Kids See It, 2001) =========================================== My 15-year-old daughter, Courtney, had become ill, and thinking it might be appendicitis, we went to the emergency room at our local hospital. Courtney was feeling too sick even to answer questions, so the nurse asked me to describe her symptoms. I explained that she was complaining of acute pain in her side. But in a small voice, Courtney corrected me. "It’s not a cute pain! It really hurts!" --Jayne Glenn, Fredericton (from As Kids See It, 2001) =========================================== In our church, children are permitted both the bread and the wine at communion. After one service, the priest took me aside to speak to me about my seven-year-old. "Please tell Connor," he gently said, "the appropriate response to the wine is ‘Amen’ not ‘Mmm, yummy!’" --Linda Walker, Wingham, Ont. (from As Kids See It, 2001) =========================================== We were having trouble with a mouse raiding the cupboards at our cottage, so my wife decided to set a trap. Our nine-year-old granddaughter watched as she baited it with peanut butter. "Gran, shouldn’t you use cheese?" Kathleen asked. Then, after a moment’s reflection, she added, "But I suppose that would be too obvious, eh?" --James Oswald, Vankleek Hill, Ont. (from As Kids See It, 2001)

By Toutatis!

Madz comment on SP's blog courtingdisaster :An Asterix character who gets bashed , reminded me of the good old days when I used to read those books. I really liked them and I still do.My first Asterix book was "The Mansions of the Gods " , I loved dogmatix ,he can't stand it when trees are cut down and cries whenever that happens! Howls actually .. Wooooooooooooooowww... The names of characters were so funny : Getafix:"get a fix" conveys the fact he makes potent potions. Vitalstatistix : the chief who always stood on a shield and his wife Impedimenta . The fishmonger Unhygienix , who gets his fish fresh from Paris by oxcart.His wife Bacteria. The Balcksmith Fulliautomatix . The lovely Panacea ..wonder why no-one dresses like her anymore..hmmmm Justforkix , Telegraphix, Selectivemploymentax ,Gastronomix and a host of other funny characters. Ooh does anyone remember the character of Ptenisnet - who carries on an army career in the belief that he is actually on a package holiday and is always complaining about the accommodation and asking to see the menu in the mess hall. Man that was hilarious. I think its from Asterix the Legionary. Do you know why Asterix and Obelix is famous in France ? Apart from the fact that they were french characters, the story of valiant Frenchmen holding out against an evil empire appeals to folk who failed to do so against the Nazis .

Fantasy ....

Catch me at SP's blog ... I always thought Tolkien's Lord of the Rings was "the bible" in fantasy books. SP and Madz think otherwise. Vc shakes his head ... check http://prashanthsriram.blogspot.com/2005/06/cant-believe-i-am-doing-this.html

We learn something new everyday.

Lil sis : Quick what's a nosegays flower ? Vc : eh !! What ? Lil sis : A nosegays. Vc: ( With a straight face ) I seriously have no idea. Will find out and let you know. Rattled the google and found that : A nosegays is a bouquet traditionally made up of fragrant flowers.

Oh and I thought it was..

"There are only two forces that unite men - fear and interest." Napoleon Bonaparte Found this quote in 5th page of the book French Kiss by Eric Van Lustbader . I thought it was Money and Women .... well I was wrong.

It's official .

Yep, just found out that more people read the comments than the main post itself. Oh well , so i have decided to write my " maven " ramblings exclusively in the comment section.{ A person who has special knowledge or experience ;) } ok ok you can stop laughing now . FYI i found that word on Hell Boy's blog . So go on check the comments.

Podi Loos

Saw "Rendezvous with Simi Garewal" ( the show was first aired in 1997) every-time I see Simi aunty I invariably ask my mom , " So how old is she ? " My Mom then does the calculation ." Hmm in Mera Naam Joker , which was released in 1970 she was in her 20's ...so now she should be....56 + yrs." and I raise my eyebrows. The last episode was hilarious. It was a collage of unedited clips .There was a candid camera segment where the Bachchan clan is chatting before the show begins and amidst the banter, Shweta's daughter Navyanaveli (who is off screen) is asked who is looking the nicest.Adorably, and wisely, when asked to choose between AB senior and junior, mom Shweta and grandma Jaya, Navya replies, "I don't know". Very diplomatic.. she was cute . In another section celebrities are asked to choose a person for a dinner date . AB: Gayathri Devi ( pause ) ... when she was young . Jaya aunty : Why not now ? Abhishek : Because she's married :) . Now its Jaya Aunty's turn ... she says " Maybe Ustad Amzad Ali Khan or Ustad Zakir Hussain " Abhishek : haahaha.... I mean you would say something like " Ruk Kyun gaye .. bajao " This had everyone smiling . The musical segment wherein the guests are made to sing their favorite songs was boring. Attended Venki's sister's marriage , actually the reception. Saw Dee sitting with her friends...I think they were discussing global warming .The hall was filled with so many eligible brides ....* sigh *. Anantha is back from his Honeymoon . He had been to Munnar, Kerala ( its a hill resort) and wanted to meet us guys and ofcourse treat us to lunch. We met at the 3 star Pai Viceroy hotel. The " Viceroy Special Dessert" ,with 3 flavours of icecream and fruit salad , was just too yummmmy.

Coming Soon...Vee Cee reveals it all ..

Now that Dee is no more..( sniff sniff) I get to write about how I pulled off the greatest prank of the year and lots more !! She crossed a few lines and stepped on a few toes.. Now she will face the ..drums rolling... Wrath of VC Download Tatu: How soon is now Check the lyrics..too good... I am the son and the heir Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar I am the son and heir Of nothing in particular You shut your mouth How can you say I go about things the wrong way I am human and I need to be loved Just like everybody else does There's a club if you'd like to go you Could meet somebody who really loves you So you go, and you stand on your own and You leave on your own and you go home, And you cry and you want to die.

Phew...

The things I see while travelling to work.... The school kid throwing a tantrum , getting whacked by his mom. The Marketing executive running to catch the bus, as usual late for his appointment. The girls in their nike shoes and Lee jeans keenly observing the roadside vendor clean his utensils ,as they wait for their College bus. The teenager on his bike, honking and hoping to get to college ontime . The huge tulsi tree. The idol of Mother Mary wrapped in an Indian Saree, complete with a jasmine garland. The lake and the overweight man on his rounds. The little rag picker sitting on the school compound ,looking on, as the students say their school prayer. The wife in the Scorpio, taking a quick nap, as the husband tries in vain to get past the traffic jam. The father and his 3 chubby talkative children on a scooter. The old lady controlling and directing the traffic , right in front of the Traffic police station. The Businessman in the backseat of the Mercedes, reading Page 3 . ( the window was open.duh!!) OK Now that does... I was typing this post and my Director stops by my cubicle.......here's what happened.. Yesterday as I settle down into my window seat (bus), I am surprised to see my Director ( Head of our Business Unit) smile and occupy a seat in front of me. He has a car and a Black Scorpio but due to unavoidable circumstances he had to board our shuttle.His destination was Yeswanthpur, the last stop.( I get down at the second last stop, pick up my broom and wroom on … ( No I am not a witch )) He looked around, greeted us and asked . " Do you guys play cards or something ? " . This aunty( she's married ) smiled and said " No some read ( looks at me), some listen to music (looks at me) and some sleep ( looks at me again )". Grrr How in Mike Tyson's name can I do all 3 ? I smile and get back to reading and listening to the local Radio station , which was playing country music.He chit chats with the other passengers and plugs his ear phones and listens to his watch ( His watch not only shows time but is also a mp3 player and I on the otherhand have to be content with the Sony walkman). An hour later , its just me , him and a couple of aunties.The traffic is unusually more than the other days. In one of the narrow roads , an auto crashes into our bus . "Crack".We check the bus for damages, the back fender is bent..traffic comes to a standstill. The driver tries to fix it , right in the middle of the road.grr.I find my voice( I don't talk much) and urge the bus driver to get it repaired at the Depot, which is also the last stop. The auto driver is not to be seen. The Director enquires" Does it usually take so much time ?" . " Yes ,( I sigh ) and I still have 10 kms to go on my bike" " My God! ,You actually spend 4 hours traveling up and down to work ".I smile . I get down at my stop and say " Have a nice evening" to the rest of the passengers. ( I have too .. ) Back to the present. He stops by my cubicle and says " Vinod , I had a bad experience yesterday " , my eyebrows touch the ceiling "eh ? " ( travelling with me is a bad experience ?). " After the function , Some drunken auto driver ,rammed into me. He was on the wrong side of the oneway.He started swearing at me , that made me very angry so threw a couple of punches.You should have seen his face.( Here he smiles, its the same smile you see on a kid's face when he eats the last cookie , which was supposed to be shared with his sister). Suddenly this guy takes out a huge sword,the one we see in those " Bhai" movies, 2 feet with the end curved, and he takes a jab at me and goes for my head.I hold the sword with my right hand( shows the marks eeww.. ) and punch him with my left. I think I broke his nose. By this time the police arrive and they take care of the situation". I gave him my best " WOW .. you did not punch him... " " Its been 12 years since I got into a street fight ".He sighs and walks off to the conf call.

Hey who posted this here ??

Blue..ring

the eyes..

Check out the White Vc for some Ash pics..which will.....its better left unsaid.

Epica Awards :

The latest Volkswagen Golf AD .. saw it on TV the other day ..liked it. http://www.epica-awards.org/assets/epica/2004/finalists/film/flv/18190.htm "Is there any room left for nature?" asks this environmental awareness spot.. Beautiful ..the background score is heart wrenching...... http://www.epica-awards.org/assets/epica/2004/finalists/film/flv/10008.htm Words can hurt - let's combat bullying. Check the sigh ... http://www.epica-awards.org/assets/epica/2004/finalists/film/flv/10253.htm.

Chinkuland ....

Quick , drop a few good titles that you think is collectable ... getting DVD's from China.. dirt cheap . Ofcourse its pirated. Here's my list ..( the upper limit is 10 ) Gladiator Star wars : Revenge of the sith Mr and Mrs Smith Kung Fu hustle House of Flying Daggers The King of Comedy-Stephen Chow Unleashed Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Dirty Harry Madagascar

R&B ,Thunderstorms and Rs 99.

Book review: Sea leopard by Craig Thomas. "Sea Leopard" refers to a revolutionary cloaking device that makes submarines immune from detection.The Royal Navy's submarine Proetus has been fitted with the latest anti-sonar electronics called Leopard and is sent on a top secret mission. The Russians are very aware of the sub and the threat that it poses.. so what do they do ?? Simple, Kidnap the Proetus ....hah!! You must read Firefox by the same author... another thriller in which the Amercians steal a MiG-31, NATO code-name 'Firefox' , which is invisible to RADAR. " Day after tomorrow " Now why did I take a year to watch this film ? Must watch again. Superb effects. Broke my collar bone .. Nothing much... I was dropping Mom off at my aunt's place ... did a zig zag , imitated Valentino Rosi and the pretty girl at the bus-stop had nothing what-so-ever to do with it . Mom ,who was using my right shoulder as support .. suddenly did the Captain Spock thing ( its a Star Trek funda.. Captain Spock clamps on the victim's collar bone and the victim falls down unconscious) and I felt a 110 volt power surge thru my shoulder.All she said was " so why were u dancing on the main road ? " Hah moms... Went shopping with my cousin and Bil . Commercial Street . Haiiiii.. so many hmmmmmm's . Stores to check out on Commercial Street: Dollar Store .. yep that's what it was called.. Hey Vidya .. Remember all those Shampoos , moisturizer and conditioners you sent in January .. well we get them here for Rs 99. Uhahahahaaa want me to send some .. uahahha ahhaha .... the store had lots of US maal .. pickles ,chocolates and kids stuff.. must visit again .. The Khadi Bandaar : Amazing place it's stuffed with so many different types of cotton materials, even the salesboy had a difficult time getting what I specified. I always wonder why people don't buy traditional Khadi materials ? Right now I'm listening to R&B.. Blackeyedpeas :Don't FUNK with my heart Nelly : Shake your tail feathers Gwen Stefani: Hollaback Girl Snoop Dogg : Drop it like its Hot

Yep it seems there was an accident.... Guess what the accused had to say.. Of course it was a lady driver.. "The car in front hit the pedestrian, but he got up so I hit him again." hah!! Vc sighs... the roads are not safe....

More C and V

When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for 5 minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice. Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do? I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I say "Come here, Stay!" After a while the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all. The otherday I downloaded a 63 Mb , 64 min mp3 file which said " Jennifer Lopez _Full Album" . I thought It was the latest Jenny Album. Yipeeee... Alas ! it turned out to be a lecture on US and Russian Intelligence Satellites , mainly on the SAFE program . It had lots of War stories/ how not to tap a fiber optic cable/Tapping Phone calls /Voice recognition Programs and other miscellaneous stuff. In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "cut it out!"

Men's Rules (that women should know) ...

Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what bottle green is.. :) Uhah ahahaaaa mythoughts exactly ...

Jump .. are you kidding ?

and they said I could do it ....

From my Archives....

The paradox of our time in history is that We have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour.